LaTeR, iN aNoThEr PaRt Of ToWn

yesterday, when talking to my visitor, i realized that it’s been since last August that i had a talk with a non family, non bateman person. a real talk. communication about the new, the strange, and the topical. it’s so odd to me how many have come and gone over time. where do they go? noodle came to vist the other week. she is having the hard time. the young time. i wish more than anything that i could solve it for her, but i cannot. nothing can be done about it really. she simply needs to age. i remember being that age and every other that she has been. i would venture to say that until about 3 and a half years ago, the level of misery in all things was overwhelming. yes, even after bateman, there was still some brutal time, but luckily, not for too long, and not too much. things are so completely different, i am so completely different, and i no longer really know anyone from the time before. noodle mentions that she was in a restaurant and she saw ninboy still working there, as he was 4 years ago, and i felt, nothing? an almost strange level of nothing. i feel as though i cannot muster rage for those i hated, nor do i want to. he was way too young, and far too sheltered, and possibly mentally ill. none of this is his fault, and none of it is necessarily permanent. were i to run into him, i would certainly find it in me to be cordial. i attemted to be cordial conveying birthday wishes to KAS through a mutual aquaintance, and he was, apparently, deeply upset by that. why? i don’t know. i haven’t seen hide nor hair of him in over 6 years, even if we had been bitter enemies, wouldn’t it have passed by now? i don’t understand this clinging to anger. i don’t understand the number of people who seem to have such a surplus of companionship that they would toss a hand in peace or friendship aside. perhaps it is my isolation. it gives me much time to think and to work on myself. perhaps other people don’t enjoy working on themselves. perhaps it is human nature to wallow and stall.
who knows. i do not miss high school, and i do not miss college, but i do miss some of the interactions from that time.
spring is a time for renewal, perhaps that is when it will happen.

LaTeR, iN aNoThEr PaRt Of ToWn

something has gotten into the cat. he’s running around like a maniac, occasionally crashing into walls. he’s acting as though he were alone all day, but i know damned well that while i was away, at some point he had wrestling with bateman. bateman cannot resist wrestling with that cat, small though he may be.

LaTeR, iN aNoThEr PaRt Of ToWn

no word from that girl yet. how long should i wait before asking about the status? so afraid of disease, but so hoping to have a good time. it is a conflict indeed.

LaTeR, iN aNoThEr PaRt Of ToWn

another week before the rug arrives. house work has come to a standstill this week. it is due to money issues though, nothing more. soon we’ll get back to it. i’m so tired right now, it’s hard to think. i feel like i ought to be able to get more done, but i’m running out of energy. bateman says i have pneumonia again, but i don’t think so. i think it’s just winter, i’m tired of it. it will end though. 7 days till march. 27 days until spring. patience, patience. i think i’m going to go download some more gothic archies. i’m really really enjoying them of late.
see you on the flip side, hermie...

TuNe In NeXt TiMe, SaMe Bat PlAcE, sAmE bAt PaGe...