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my book came out and people who ordered from amazon are getting their copies. so far, nothing bad has been said, though nothing much good either. i�m in a floaty sea of apprehension. i don�t like it. I really do have a deep seated fear of rejection. It�s getting out of hand. I need to work on that in therapy.
Speaking of therapy, I finally confronted my therapist. I told him I couldn�t take it anymore. 19 years of therapy and no progress. I�m jealous of my mom�s therapy, she�s accomplishing things. I�m anxious and crazy and still not 100% sure that I�m human. That�s just not going to work anymore. I need to pull things together. The tone of the session changed after that and it seems like we�ll actually address issues a bit, but I�m only giving this until June. If I don�t see some kind of improvement by then, I think I might have to change therapists. Maybe I need an analrapist like tobias. WHY did they cancel arrested development anyway? JERKS.

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You�ll notice these entries possibly being a bit more coherent, punctuation wise. I�m trying to wean myself off of AppleWorks. It�s just not sane anymore, so pages it is. AppleWorks can�t even scroll. How sad is that?

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Last weekend we went to a birthday party at atlantis aquarium and then a birthday party out at molly blooms II the next day. Then we had to do easter! It was absurd. Way too much human interaction for the likes of us. Still, I got all fancy and we went to a club and I danced. It�s literally been years. How sad is that? I had a really good time. When it�s warm, I might commit to once a month. Bateman though, I dunno. Would he freak if I just went with S? He might, he might not. It�s hard to say. We�re so married, I can�t imagine him having fear.

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Shenanigans 2 days in a row really creates the need for more shenanigans with me. That�s all it takes for me to get my momentum going. Sadly, we both work 96 hours a day now, so it�s hard to fit that in. It�s fun when we do though. Fifteen more pounds and I think it�ll be even more fun. I keep lowering my target weight, but it�s still within reason. It�d be more reasonable if it would just warm up. I miss my bike tremendously.

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We�re well into the 5 years now. It�s not any different than before 5 years except that I feel like I have a better answer to the how long question.

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Ok, well, yeah. That was incredibly boring. I should do these more often, even if they�re short. Maybe I can get some entry momentum going. Here�s my recommendations: go and see grind house. Quentin is a twerp and a half, but Rodriguez is a genius. Also, buy my book! And then read it, like it, and tell me about that feeling. Heh.

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