Entitled: visit complete, i need to accept humans. esthetic changes for all.
diary
im really hoping that having mydragonsister here for the next few days is going to shake something loose in my brain. i need to remember to have a pen and a small pad with me at all times while shes here. i have not had a conversation with someone new in a very long time. in college, it was conversation that was most likely to spark an idea for me. well, no, relationship based rage worked just as well as conversation, but alas alack and all of that, i have no relationship rage to speak of.
the worst it gets (and i realize that now. this is the WORST we ever have anymore.) is when i am irritated with his non-reaction to being rubuffed and hope that he falls asleep as that always fixes everything.
the way bateman expresses upset is with silence.
or rather, that used to be the way. now it is with terse language. he will respond, politely, but that is IT. its like some kind of strange survival skill he has aquired, but ive managed to figure out the solution to it. napping. there is are others, a nights sleep, or a really good, non sexual, experience that we share. going to see brian regan, for example, worked well on one occasion.
and that is the worst. and that is not enough to be inspired by. i got one microfiction out of it, and thats it. thats just not enough. wait, is one coming?
no, it didnt i was being silly. and all of that happened last week anyway.
LaTeR, iN aNoThEr PaRt Of ToWn
so mydragonsister has come and gone and all in all it was a good time. it would have been a better time were it not a hundred thousand degrees here. its hard to have fun when you wish you were dead. i hope she had a good time. i had a good time but found myself hoping shed return in the fall when its easier to live.
i think ive lost all ability to connect with another person on a deep level though. its weird. now i think its a wall on my part. but im not sure what its made of.
i put the book for this months reading group on reserve, i intend to read it and attend the meeting when it arrives. i really need to practice talking to people.
LaTeR, iN aNoThEr PaRt Of ToWn
weve interviewed a million people for the apartment and so far still no luck. clearly were shooting for sept. 1st now though, so we have a little time. doesnt anyone need a place? its 1k a month for everything! by the beach! with parking! and a jacuzzi tub! and a balcony! thats including cable and internet! come ON!
back to our regularly scheduled entry.
LaTeR, iN aNoThEr PaRt Of ToWn
ive just re-dyed my hair. im sitting here with the dye in right now. i hope it comes out ok, im branching out to other colors. its going to be nice this week so i can hopefully make some money. if i do, i think im going to get a haircut to go with my new glasses. i need a whole new head, im sick of the one i have.
LaTeR, iN aNoThEr PaRt Of ToWn
the landscapers are outside buzzing away. it really does look a lot better already. i wonder who long theyll stay today. we have a block party this afternoon and then people coming over later for a movie out on the deck. well, not a movie, actually and austin stories marathon. but itll be awesome. hes jesses friend, and we both just met the wife. shes actually pretty cool so hopefully itll be a good time.
LaTeR, iN aNoThEr PaRt Of ToWn
bateman took me on an impromptu date last night. it was completely unexpected. we went to the carnival and got zeppoli and then to the movies to see the descent. there was something slightly off about it. it may have beent he all female cast which made it so that i couldnt identify with the group dynamic at all, but overall, it was really good. the funny thing is that the movie is more scary before the monsters arrive than after. spelunking looks like a shitty hobby. a seriously shitty hobby. just watching it i became claustrophobic, i cant imagine doing it. it was nice though, and there was crazy rowdy sex the night before. now that im better and batemans put on some weight again, that seems to be happening more often. i think i was right. i was just too ill and he was feeling too small. hes noticibly larger now though and that helps his whole disposition. and being fully conscious for more than 3 hours a day is defintiely a bonus for me.
well, i guess im going to go clean. people are coming and the house is chaos. i need to post some progress photos soon, weve been working really hard.
TuNe In NeXt TiMe, SaMe Bat PlAcE, sAmE bAt PaGe...
atmosphere: loud buzzing machinesi'm feeling: like i'm developing an illness in my chest i learned: that i can't sleep with a landscaper in the yard
Submitted On: Saturday, Aug. 05, 2006
12:10 pm
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