| Entitled: friends, storms and cooking
diary
two entries, two days in a row. shocking, i know.
i’m getting the “gotta make some friends” itch again. it rears it’s ugly head every few weeks and honestly, i have no idea what to do about it. there’s nowhere to go really. i’m 30. there’s no hangout place for 30 year old chicks. you know what that place is? it’s mommy and me. you know what i don’t want to breed, ever. bateman and i were looking through the library catalogue yesterday though. there’s a plant exchange meeting, a book club type thing, and a camera club that i think are all things i might want to try out. the library is ten minutes from the house, and deep inside, i know this is a way out. i know this is a way for me to meet people, but i’m nervous to try. i don’t know what i’m afraid of though, except that i do. it’s the inevitable failure of it all. it’s them hating me right away, or me hating them. it’s them hating me after a month. it’s them abandoning me after 5 years of friendship, or 15. it’s us getting along for years and years, and then they die on me. it’s my total ditrust for any and all people at this point, because, bateman aside? not a one has really stuck by my side through anything.
i’m only 30 though, should i be resigned to not making any more friends, ever? should i make lame excuses? should i say “well, i’m in the middle of trawler, i can’t read that book club book now!” no, i really really shouldn’t. i really need to stop this and no one else can do it for me.
today i will pull my shit together. i’ll hop on my bike and do some houses, then i’ll hop in my car. i will go to the library and pick up the book club book and i’ll register for the other classes. i need to do some food shopping, so i think i’ll do that too. today is a holiday, are things open today?
ha! doesn’t matter! i just registered online for the plant exchange and the book club. i’ll need to register for the camera thing closer to the date. i can’t let myself overload, but at least i registered for two. now i just need to go pick up the book.
LaTeR, iN aNoThEr PaRt Of ToWn
yesterday bateman and i walked down to the beach before lunch. there were a bunch of fancy pants down there, all standing in a circle, applauding by the yacht club. i’m sure it had something to do with veterans. they fired off a tiny cannon, and after hearing that, i don’t EVER want to be near a real one. that was painfully loud. they played “god bless america” afterward and i think some of them thought i was extremely patriotic, when in reality, i was just trying to hold my heart inside my chest. it was nice though. sitting by the water, living by the ocean. i still can’t believe WE live here. we’re such a we, it’s amazing to me. it’s almost a year though, i should start to get used to it.
LaTeR, iN aNoThEr PaRt Of ToWn
my pills are starting to wreck me. it’s only about 3 days in. i have a three week supply to get through. i’m naseaus and infected and i feel like shit. i wonder if i could have gotten by without going to the doctor this time. i feel like i’ve brought this on myself.
LaTeR, iN aNoThEr PaRt Of ToWn
i’m watching the new york hurricaine mega diasters. i’m a bit nervous over this. if it directly hit new york, we’d be out of the major wind problems. but if it was a little bit to the east? we’ll loose our house. oh, well, they’re saying it’s 200 miles wide. so no, we’re just fucked. we have flood insurance though. and obviously homeowners. i have my eye on some contemporary pre-fab stuff, just in case. still, it’s really scary. it would be another mortgage, it would be horriffic. i hope it waits to hit until we’re more secure. it will always be painful, but if we had a financial reserve and a really huge insurance policy, it would be easier. and man, if we did have to rebuild? there’d be a shitload of concrete and very little wood. f these ants man, f them.
LaTeR, iN aNoThEr PaRt Of ToWn
i made a really good garlic chicken last night. i’m expanding my recipe base again. gotta go buy a nice journal for all of these recipies. i’d like to have something on hand at all time. it’s annoying to constantly have loose ones lying around.
LaTeR, iN aNoThEr PaRt Of ToWn
we are not prepared. we need: bottled water supplies, canned food, canned cat food, batteries, more candles, a radio, more propane. the funny thing is, if it’s really bad? it won’t matter anyway, we’re going to my folk’s house. this whole area just isn’t safe.
TuNe In NeXt TiMe, SaMe Bat PlAcE, sAmE bAt PaGe...
atmosphere: mega disasteryi'm feeling: not too happy, but i'll survive. i learned: my life is in my hands, dude.
Submitted On: Monday, May. 29, 2006
12:16 pm
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