| Entitled: catchup, as always
diary
when i’m up early like this, i feel like i should get an entry in. there’s a lot going on, and i’m not keeping us as well as i might, so, lets see here.
the phone rang the other day and while i was sure it was my doctor calling, when i heard the voice on the other end of the phone, i knew it was myneil. i was just shocked. i haven’t heard from him in forever. the world has rolled on and it has been years now. it’s hard talking to him on the phone. he’s the sort of person you really need visual cues with. he is growing ever slower in his speech, and it’s hard to tell the difference between his being done with a thought, or just pausing. he has always been this way abit, but something seemed just slightly amiss. it’s hard to say. he says he may visit NY in the spring or summer, so i’ll see then i suppose.
we have had almost no visitors yet. that may be a good thing. we really should have the media closet put together before we have them, it would get rid of about ten boxes in the den.
LaTeR, iN aNoThEr PaRt Of ToWn
two tiny opportunities hang for me on the horizon. one is a small possible gig for bateman and his friend, and the other is the gig for my mom’s friend. if either of them came to pass, it would really really help me out. if they both came to pass, i’d be ecstatic. i hate when i plan ahead for money that i don’t have, but it’s hard to help. i want my cards to be paid off so badly, it’s killing me. i think i have about 2 years left. 2 fucking years man. if i could just sock away some cash, and put big chunks into the repayment every so often, i could be free even sooner. and then what? well, then i wouldn’t have this constant state of panic all the time over all things financial. it’s only the 22nd and i’m already in a grim way for january. 9 days left. it doesn’t sound that long, but it really really is. i hate money woes, i fucking hate them. i don’t know that it will ever seem reasonable to re-up my supergold membership. bleh.
LaTeR, iN aNoThEr PaRt Of ToWn
no tub on wednesday, supposidly it’s coming tomorrow. if we can get help with the electric today, that is. bateman had better get up soon, or he’s not going to catch the tennant and then it’s not going to get done. he’s been sleeping for almost 12 hours now. he’s just so tires all the time. working way too hard, too much. i want this to be his year, the one where he breaks out. i hate watching work wear on him. he’s not made for it. it seems a waste. he bought a nice work shirt yesterday, and that was just, i dunno. i just wish spring would come. it’ll all be ok then.
LaTeR, iN aNoThEr PaRt Of ToWn
spring seems so far away. i have declared it to be march 1st, even though it’s really the 20th. january is almost gone. just about 37 days to go. 37. can i do 37 days? i think i can. it’s almost all done. winter, that is. still no real snowfall, and only a few miserably frigid nights. if it doesn’t bite soon, it never will, and even if it does, it won’t be that bad. i need to get back outside. i need to stop this 15 day forcast nonsense. you can get all the way to the 5th of february with that. i have wished away the winter in this way, and it’s insane.
LaTeR, iN aNoThEr PaRt Of ToWn
fred is in the corner attacking a pencil. he also hates pens. cats are aware, it is writing impliments that hold us above them, and so, they hate the pens and pencils of the world. without these, they might take over.
i have not seen my family in a while. they all make me nervous now. my mother is always anxious over everyone and everything. my sister is doing i do not know what, i can only hope it clears. i give her 5 years, i think by then it will be done, i’m just worried that by then she will have put herself so far behind, that her adult self will be angry with her current self. there’s nothing to be done for it though. you can’t tell someone that sort of thing. it doesn’t help, and they don’t listen. you just have to hope that they pull it together on their own. hope that the damage is not too far reaching. i recovered from my own, though i will forever be behind.
my brother? his scene just terrifies me. divorce man, that’s pretty heavy. people in my family just really do not do the divorce thing. he married into the kind of family where it’s not a big deal though, and maybe that should have told him something. they’re not doing anything about it, which is weird. his ex isn’t contacting a mediator, or having her sister file, or doing fucking anything. it’s kind of weird. i don’t want to deal with any of it, so i’m mostly hiding here, and not doing exactly that.
TuNe In NeXt TiMe, SaMe Bat PlAcE, sAmE bAt PaGe...
atmosphere: i'm feeling: i learned:
Submitted On: Sunday, Jan. 22, 2006
11:33 am
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