Entitled: i want a gun and some other things.



diary

the other night, bateman and i both dreamed of jake gyllenhaal. in his dream, he was watching jarhead and was dissapointed because it just wasn’t that interesting. in my dream, i was watching brokeback mountain and i was dissapointed that there wasn’t any gay sex in it. two people, lying next to one another in bed, both dreaming about being dissapointed with jake gyllenhaal. what the fuck is up with that?

LaTeR, iN aNoThEr PaRt Of ToWn


we’re suddenly shopping for guns. we want a huge collection of fully automatic airsoft pellet guns. this all started because of an indian (casino, not curry) who sold bateman a little plastic gun with a laser site today.
fred sure loves lasers, and now, bateman and i sure do want some bigger, badder guns. we’re looking at his amp and realizing that thing is worth about 8 good guns.

LaTeR, iN aNoThEr PaRt Of ToWn


i got a letter back from myneil. it’s weird, i really thought he’d gone for good. the last letter i got from him he said he was pulling away from everyone, and what was i to say to that? so i wrote him back, it was short, and said that while i hoped he wasn’t implying that he was pulling away from me, if he did, i wished him well. i hadn’t heard from him since, but then, the other day, thursday in fact, i got a letter from him. when i opened it, dust came out. i actually thought “anthrax!” for just a moment. i cried when i read the letter. it was like going back in time a bit. right back to high school and the easy conversations. i read the letter twice in the car. he pasted in a photo of his son. it is so strange to me to see those kinds of things.
later, this evening, i connected some dots in the letter.
his epilepsy seems to be worsening.
he’s had some vague personality changes and mood issues.
he is dreaming of birds hatching from his head.
and i wonder, is the tumor coming back? the first time it ate it’s way out, he lost math, and reason, and a lot of the concept of consequence.
how many massive brain tumors can a person survive?
i mention this thought to bateman in the car, and he says nothing. i say “i’m going to outlive all of my high school friends, isn’t that ironic?” and he says “it’s better than the other way around.” and i say “well, yeah, but it’s lonely and sad, huh?” and he tells me it’s ok.
too bad i didn’t talk about the letter in crazy town like i’d planned to. i might have come to that conclusion while i was there, and then maybe this wouldn’t show up in my dreams at some point this week, as i know it will.

LaTeR, iN aNoThEr PaRt Of ToWn


bateman and i did xmas eve presents this year, and i suppose we will every year now. his mother would like us to wake up on xmas morning here. it was ok, something a little unsettling, probably left over from some stress last night. i need to always always always remember that if something is nagging at me, if i think about ANYthing and wonder “is this bothing him?” then YES it most definitely is and it’s going to cause a problem at some point. every time i don’t pay attention to my little nagging bateman alarm, we end up with a fire.

LaTeR, iN aNoThEr PaRt Of ToWn


speaking of fires, we have a gas leak in the house, every time i use the oven. that means we have to put down the 3k and have the new gas people come and do the hookup, because we’re just not giving $80 to the old people for a service call when we can probably have these people do it for free when they come. it’s good though. we’ll have a happier tennant, be more energy efficient, and a warm garage.
i guess i’ll have to get that insulated garage door, stat.
goddamn, houses are expensive. more than fully automatic pellet guns, even.

TuNe In NeXt TiMe, SaMe Bat PlAcE, sAmE bAt PaGe...



atmosphere: eaaarly xmas

i'm feeling: cold but happy

i learned: that sometimes i'm slow with brutal things.

Submitted On: Sunday, Dec. 25, 2005 12:47 am

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